i miss sucking your dick.

I get really uncomfortable when there are two anchorwomen on the news. It's weird. Only when there are two anchormen or one of each can I watch the news at ease.

I want to go through a lesbian phase in college...I want to be able to turn my husband on years later by telling him about it.

I sit on my hand till it falls asleep, then masturbate with it. It feels like it's someone is jerking me off

I like this guy named Trevor, but I don't think he likes me. I want to one day be with him, and father his children. He reminds me of E.T.

i didn't make up the word biochemicalistic

I once stole my workmates pants and wore them the very next day.. when he asked me if they were his pants i said no...

i would love my boyfriend more if he were taller

I wish I was a vampire.

My boyfriend and I dress up as the opposite sex and fuck each other's brains out!

I bought a Burger King meal today because I was bored...

i think i'm like 100 times smarter than everyone else in the world.

I just love when jacking off, if my semen lands in my belly button. It's like I made the closing second basket in a basketball game. Fuck yeah, 2 points!!!

I sometimes make up a boyfriend just to impress my friends; bad habit.

I have an obsession with the following countries: Finland
Denmark
South Africa
North Korea
Chile
Falkland Islands
Germany
Netherlands
Australia
New Zealand
Slovenia

I put viagra in my co-workers drink.

i hate angela merkel!

i am passive agressive
i am judgemental
i am obstinate
i am turning into my mother and i dont like it

I just ran a mile.

It took me 10 minutes and I threw up three times. Wow, I'm out of shape.

I had to fake orgasms with my last girlfriend. I'm a guy.

i cheated on a test, and didnt get caught!

i am secretly in love with myself

I would totally fuck my clone.

Even better?
A threesome.